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During the decade leading to my 41st birthday, my comfort zone became a safe place for me to exist in. By the time I turned 40, I had; put on nearly 30lbs in weight, racked up close to £20k in debt, was a heavy smoker and had absurdly high blood pressure. I felt comfortable. This is all I expected in life. I had no desire to change anything or move out of my self created zone of comfort.
It wasn’t until I had my mid-life crisis, sitting on a beach in 2017, that I finally realised I was not happy. At that exact point in time, with a Marlboro Light in one had and a beer in the other, I decided enough was enough. I was sick and tired of how I was living and experiencing my life. But most of all, a wave of fear and panic came over me as I realised if I did not do something about it, this is how I will live for another 10 years.
It was at that point I made the decision to rescue myself. Using the 4 steps below, I started to take action to move out of my current comfort zone forever.
The irony is – most of the time a comfort zone is never actually comfortable! It’s behaviours, habits and a mindset that becomes familiar because we repeat it over and over again. Even if it does not empower you or even worse in my case, it’s actually doing you harm.
Don’t get me wrong – sometimes your comfort zone can be a good thing. But when you start to feel uncomfortable, unhappy or have a burning desire to escape from your current life – you’re comfort zone is holding you prisoner!
Once you make the commitment to move out of your comfort zone, your life will start to change in ways you could never imagine. How do I know this for sure?
Well, since that pinnacle moment sitting on the beach, I’ve released all 30lbs of weight I was carrying (and kept it off), paid off my debts, started a business and created a kinder relationship with myself. And you can too!
It’s one thing to make a decision to change your life. However, the fear of not knowing what to do or how to do it can be equally debilitating. It’s even more scary when you’re over 40 and feel so much of your life has already passed by.
Leaving your comfort zone – a place that is safe and familiar can be terrifying. But what’s important is not letting the fear hold you back.
I had no idea of how I was going to change my life. At that point I didn’t even know if it was possible. But the fear of having to live the next 10 years with the same mindset, habits and behaviours was even more scary – I had to lean into the fear.
By accepting the idea that I could figure it out and it was perfectly normal to feel doubtful of succeeding, I started working towards the changes I needed to make.
The mindset shift of realising I had the power to take control of my life and guide it towards something new was exciting. Scary – but exciting.
I decided to focus on my growth instead of comfort. Learning new things, over what was familiar. And putting effort over failure. This slowly stated to push through the self-doubt and insecurities of my current comfort zone.
It soon became clear that the belief’s I had up until the moment on the beach, needed to change in order for me to get out of my zone of comfort.
Everything up to that point was on auto-pilot. I had a limited way of thinking, skill set and expectation about how to live my life. All my behaviours were geared towards keeping the status quo. So, if I wanted a different outcome – I needed a different frame work.
The person I wanted to become would demand a totally new version of myself to start showing up. I got clear on the attributes my future self would possess and started working towards the shifts and habits she would live her life by.
I needed to create new values for the person I wanted to become.
The 5 core values I created for myself not only changed the way I felt, but also completely changed the belief system that was so hard wired into my life.
This gave me the confidence to know change was really possible, as I could feel my comfort zone shifting and expanding.
As you can imagine, being 30lb overweight, holding the secret of how much money I owed and not living a life I enjoyed, absolutely shattered my confidence. Even if the outside world had no idea of how I felt about myself, I lived within this prison for years.
Overcoming the fear of taking control of my life and actively working on the new set of values I was developing, started to change the way I saw myself.
The progress I was making to expand my zone of comfort was providing evidence that I was capable of becoming the person I wanted to be. Not only did this show up within my own personal accomplishments, (giving up smoking and starting to lose the weight), but other people started to recognise the difference in the way I was showing up and the energy I was sharing.
Whether we want to admit it or not, how other people view us is important, as it reinforces how we view ourselves. Once we create an empowering view of who we are and this is recognised by others, our confidence grows.
This is exactly what happened to me!
Initially, I didn’t tell people about the shift I was making in my life. I worked on it in secret, (just incase I failed!!). But once I stopped operating in my old comfort zone, people around me started to notice. This provided more incentive and confidence to keep on going.
With a new way of thinking based on my values, the habits required to achieve the feelings I wanted to experience, started to become automatic and subconscious. With each action I took to move out of my comfort zone, the things I became comfortable with expanded.
My spare time was filled with learning and personal development. My daily routines started to change and slowly but surely, how I experienced life opened up a whole new way of thinking and behaving.
I started creating new exciting goals I wanted to achieve. My relationships with my family and friends improved and for the first time in years, I felt optimistic about my future.
As I developed new skills, I started to live with intention. My disempowering comfort zone became alien to me. I started to achieve more in the following three years than I did in the decade before.
Actively releasing myself from a comfort zone of gloom and despair, I realised the ultimate goal in life is the pursuit of becoming the best version of yourself.
If you have decided enough is enough and you’re ready to make the commitment to change how you’re living – use the 4 steps above to start easing out of your current framework. This is exactly how I got out of comfort zone after turning 40. If it can work for me – it can work for you! (No matter your current age)
Yes, it may feel overwhelming and daunting – it will also be difficult at times, but it will be worth it. Your life will start to change in ways you never imagined.
So the questions is:
Are ‘you’ ready to get out of your comfort zone and start living the life you truly desire?
Let me know in the comments below.
A London born girl who got tired of her excuses & finally took action to change her life at the age of 41!
Join me as I share the habits, systems and mindset shifts that allowed me to lose 30lbs of weight, get out of £20k debt and accomplish new goals to create a fully brazen life.
ALL THINGS BRAZEN
WHERE ARE YOU NOW?