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Creating A Kinder Relationship with Yourself

Words have power. The way we speak to ourselves has a direct affect on how we feel, act and show up in the world. Becoming aware of your inner dialogue is the key to creating a kinder relationship with yourself.

Before I started monitoring my own thoughts, I would have been mortified if my internal conversations were broadcasted for the world to hear. I used to find myself saying really cruel things about my body, life or financial situation. So much so, over time, they did not seem harsh or negative. I believed them to be true! I was so unaware this habit was blocking any chance of creating a kinder relationship with myself. 

Words have the power to build others up or tear them down. But the way we talk to ourselves has the biggest impact on our own life and how we experience the world.  Learning to speak to ourselves kindly, is the only way to break negative beliefs, behaviours and insecurities that can cripple our daily lives.

Each and every minute of the day, we are having conversations with ourselves – whether we pay attention to it or not.  Internal conversations about what’s happening and what it means. Influencing our emotions about what we believe to be true about ourselves and then acting according to these belief’s.

Our self talk is usually influenced by our own life experiences.  However, the pattern of these conversations occur when the mind has the habit of either personalising – seeing ourselves as the cause of all the bad things in our life.  Or, filtering – when we focus on negative information and ignore positive information.  

For me, filtering was my self talk habit of choice.  I was so consumed with all I perceived to be wrong – I could not see any positive things in my life.  I had made a choice in my thinking to look for the bad.  Boy did I find it! This choice led me to experience unkind thoughts about my life and feeling helpless.


The most important relationship you have on this planet is with yourself.  In order for you to be your biggest cheer leader, change your internal dialogue and be kinder to yourself – you first have to admit that a change needs to be made and then be committed to make that change. 

I’ll be the the first to say it’s not easy!  Trying to catch all your negative thoughts as soon as they pop up is a habit you have to develop. But with everything in life – consistency is key.  

If you’re ready to start creating a kinder relationship with yourself, I’m going to make it a little easier for you to get started! 

It just so happens, I found a full (free!) audio book for The 7 Day Mental Diet.  This is the short book I read a few years ago to start kicking my negative thoughts to the curb.

Click the video below and start making steps towards a more positive relationship with your own mind, thoughts and self.   

We Only Take Action on the Things we Value

Lets just say,  when I took this challenge a few year ago, I was horrified to realise just how many negative thoughts I had about myself and the world around me.  The amount of times I had to restart and try again was frustrating. The only reason I never gave up was because it was important for me to stop feeling how I was feeling.  Nobody enjoys feeling bad.  However, feeling bad became a safe space to not take responsibility for my own life. I wanted to start valuing my own life and existence.

Days, weeks and months persevering with the exercise, started to part the grey clouds of my mind. The bombardment of negativity started to get quieter and less frequent.  It changed the way I saw myself and perception of my current situation.  I started to believe I had the power of change as there was no niggling voice in my head telling me I was trapped. 

Learning to resist and refuse some of the usual thought processes which had plagued me for years, was liberating. Funny enough, they slowly started to disappear and I slowly started to believe the good things.

As my life continues to evolve, every now and then, I take the challenge again.  It’s a great way to check in on myself, just like I would for other people I care about. I probably won’t get rid of every single negative thought that ever pops in my mind. But I have armed myself with tools to move quickly away from them and be a much more supportive, kinder friend to myself. 

Isn’t that what we all need?

World Kindness Day 2020

Every year World Kindness day is celebrated on 13th November. World Kindness Day is a global day that promotes the importance of being kind to each other, to yourself, and to the world. This day, celebrated on November 13 of each year, has the purpose is to help everyone understand that compassion for others is what binds us all together. This understanding has the power to bridge the gap between nations. To find out more check out the Inspire Kindness website. 

In a world where you can be anything, be kind – especially to yourself. 


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