The 3 things I've learned from Brazen Women opened my mind to all the possibilities I thought were long behind me. These lessons helped me to navigate and focus my direction towards feeling fulfilled in my life. Showing me I had the power to create the life I wanted to live - even after 40!
When I arrived in my 40s, I expected to have it all together. Not just material or status items, I mean really have it ALL together! Mindset, health, finances and fulfilment. I thought I would have mastered every lesson the world had to offer and be living a life which made me truly happy. When I found myself in a mental battle about the life I had designed whilst on autopilot, I knew there was more work to be done.
“I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person finally getting tired of their own bullsh*t”. – Elizabeth Gilbert
Year’s ago, when I envisioned myself at forty, I pictured a totally different future to the one I found myself living. When forty rolled along, I knew I was a long way away from the person I had expected to become. The hopes and expectations of my twenty year old self were a forgotten dream to the reality I had created.
On the surface, everything was fine. I could have carried on living the way I was. Hey, I was getting by! Never mind the mounting debt, increased weight and fixed mindset of ‘this is as good as it get’s’.
Was I happy? Sometimes.
Did I feeling good about myself? Sometimes.
Was I unfulfilled? Always!
That was my problem. The overwhelming notion of being unfulfilled. Even with all the material things I accumulated and the loving family I created, there was still a feeling deep down that something was missing.
I felt quite embarrassed to admit I needed more. ‘Hell! Didn’t I have enough! How ungrateful I must be to think I deserved even more.’ But I did. I needed it within myself. The problem was after years of living a certain way, I had no idea how to get it.
“Choosing to be curious is choosing to be vulnerable, because it requires us to surrender to uncertainty” – Brene Brown
So where did I start? Well if you know anything about me – I’m not one to re-invent the wheel! I looked into some of the behaviours and habits of women I admired – Brazen Women! Surely they must have went through some sort of struggle to find their own happiness and fulfilment. I was interested in their stories, listened to interviews and watched their speeches. Each woman’s story had threads of the issues I was internally battling with. Although they described different methods of navigating each battle, a common thread started to form.
With each story of victory and failure, I began to the see there were 3 things each one spoke about. Those 3 things helped their journey to becoming the confident, kickass, Brazen Women I admired.
All of a sudden it hit me.
“The final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands” – Anne Frank
I’d been expecting other people’s actions to make me happy, energised and confident. When in fact, no one was responsible for my happiness. It was down to me to create my own positive experiences in life.
This was my ‘Ah-Ha’ moment. Yes, I was now in my 40s. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t channel my inner 20 year old optimism and work on ways to change how I was experiencing life.
Let me tell you the 3 things I’ve Learned from Brazen Women!
Everything you’ve done up to this point has got you to where you are in life right now. If you look around and know you can do better, be better and have better – don’t settle!
Other people will be all too quick to tell you where you should be, how much you should have and what they think you deserve. But you have to learn to block out the noise and ignore anyone who gets in your way of becoming a better version of yourself.
If you are not happy where life finds you, create a new life. Make a plan of action and follow the habits you need to get what you know you deserve.
Set Big and Scary Goals
Goal setting is not about setting an intention and leaving it up to the universe to make it happen for you. It’s about working out what steps you need and then committing to taking the daily actions to move towards the dream.
Sometimes the bigger the dream the scarier it is – but that’s what make life exciting! There is no shame in failure. If you stumble along the way, it doesn’t mean you have to give up the entire goal. Dust yourself off. Learn from what went wrong. Tweak the next step to try and get the desired result.
Just keep on pushing forward.
Never Stop Learning
Build your confidence by seeking out knowledge.
Learning is about enriching our minds. The more knowledge we seek, the easier it is to see things from another perspective. This changes the way we see the world and see ourselves.
Making learning a habit that’s not restricted by a place or time, becomes a part of your daily routine and has the power to give you the skills to acquire a growth mindset.
Seek knowledge from books, podcasts, courses or online, to open you up to a new way of thinking. The more you consume, the more flexible your thoughts will become. Your confidence will grow and push you towards things you may have been afraid to try or explore previously.
Up until discovering the 3 things I’ve learned from Brazen Women, I used to repeatedly think about all the things I didn’t like about my life. Those thought’s would magnify and become the way I felt. I spent so much time in my head that it became easy to start believing everything I thought.
I set about working on theses 3 things and what do you know? My previous inability to be self-disciplined changed with a few habit amendments. I discovered I did have the time and energy to begin building the life I wanted to experience. And best of all, I knew what I had to do to create a fulfilling life.